Back in the days when businesses spoke something approaching normal English, they’d apologise to you when they had to put up their prices.
After all, the customer is paying their wages, so when another hike is coming their way, you’d expect a bit of humility.
But not o2. Oh no. Instead, they give you doublethink.
In an attempt to make the customer feel less ripped off, they don’t like to employ negative phrases like, “Your prices are going up and you’ll be paying more from now on.”
Instead, they prefer to put a more positive spin on things, insisting that their prices are simply “changing.”
It’s your fault, really
And instead of saying ‘sorry’ for cranking up their broadband charges – the second time in nearly as many months with the VAT increase – they first try to make customers feel guilty for playing their part in the ‘change in internet use’.
Orwellian twisting
And then – in a lovely bit of doublespeak – they word their announcement like they’re doing us a favour: “We need to increase our prices so we can still give you the level of service you’d expect from us.”
Why how kind, o2, but given the choice, we’d rather you take less fat profits for yourselves and keep our prices the same, thanks.
Here’s their full announcement,
Our Home Broadband prices are changing
Internet use has changed dramatically over the last few years and this is likely to continue. We need to increase our prices so we can still give you the level of service you’d expect from us.
From 31 March 2011 your monthly broadband cost will be £21.50. Any discount or free period you already have – like a three months free offer – will stay unchanged.
You don’t need to do anything, but if you’d like to know more about your options, or want to compare our prices to the market, go to o2.co.uk/pca
Right – we’re off to see what better deals we can find elsewhere….
