Pistol-packin’ bullet despatchin’ iPhone defender ends up in jail

Pistol-packin' iPhone defender ends up in hot water

When gun-lovin’ Roger Witter saw two men nick a load of  iPhones from an AT&T store Gresham, Oregon, he decided to take action.

Instead of sensibly waiting for the feds to arrive, he decided to go all Harry Callaghan on the perp’s asses, and blasted away at their departing car in an attempt to blow out its tyres.

His Dirty Harry antics failed miserably, with the ricocheting rounds missing the car and heading off in the direction of Gresham City Hall Max station and a nearby car park.

Luckily no one was injured, but the police were suitably unimpressed, accusing him of unlawful use of a weapon, reckless endangerment disorderly conduct and unlawful discharge of a firearm, and his handgun and concealed weapons permit seized.

Gun crazy

Witter – who was shopping at the store at the time – admitted that he didn’t feel that his own life (or anyone else’s) was in danger, but insisted that his wild shooting was intended to help the police. The cops didn’t agree.

“It is important to remember that no matter how frustrated one may be with crime and the criminal justice system, it is not permissible to use deadly force in this type of situation,” commented Gresham Sgt. Rick Wilson.

“Those two rounds could’ve gone anywhere. In fact, we’re still not sure where they went. They could’ve struck an innocent bystander or damaged property.”


Witter, has since been released from jail, pleaded, “”I’m not a cowboy. I’m not a hero.  I was just doing what I always try to do: help.”

To be honest, he sounds like a bit of an iNutter to us.

Roger Witter describes shooting at two robbery suspects


One Comment on “Pistol-packin’ bullet despatchin’ iPhone defender ends up in jail”

  1. What a nutcase! I can’t imagine how screwed in the head you’d have to be to start shooting at someone just for stealing relatively low value from a shop that you weren’t even involved with!

    Sounds like the guy’s a danger to the public. Book him Danno!

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